HOLIDAY: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (YEAH, RIGHT)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (YEAH, RIGHT)
I’m writing Happy Birthday to myself even though I’m not feeling it this year. Every year since I left home at nineteen, I’ve called my mother at 5:03AM on the east coast, the time of my birth lo those many years ago, to congratulate her for having me. And we laugh and are grateful for how lucky we both are to have each other. This is the first year I wasn’t able to do that, which is making me feel worse than I already do. But I’m trying to buck up, and enjoy any good wishes that come my way. (Several already have, and I truly want to thank people for that.)
It’s always basically sucked to have my birthday just three short weeks after Christmas, (I’ll elaborate in a second,) but this one takes the cake. (Or, rather, doesn’t.) Growing up in New York, I usually had big parties, inviting my whole class because I didn’t want anyone to feel left out. That was great, for the most part. (It’s how I got my first Barbie doll, which I still have to this day!!! Thank you, Robin Solomon and Laurie Eisner!) The bad part is, since it’s winter there, someone always got sick and couldn’t make it. Being the Empath that I’ve been told I am, I always felt terrible for the sick kid, and found it hard to rise above. On my tenth birthday, my mother’s the one who got sick, so I had to cancel the party, which I feel terrible about to this day!!!
The other part about the January 14 is that everyone’s exhausted from the holidays, including me. It’s hard to get those party juices flowing again. The shallow complaint is that, rightfully so, most of my bday presents are bought on sale, so they’re difficult to return. And by the time I try to exchange them, the new merchandise is in, which means there’s nothing at that old price to exchange them for! (I told you that’s the shallow part, but I’m letting it all out now. And I have a feeling my fellow Capricorns are nodding their heads in agreement.)
So, here I am on my birthday, food festival party cancelled, putting it all on Mr. X to entertain me, which I hate doing, but I just can’t sit in the house and cry today. And, because most of my pals were just there for me when I lost my mother (words I still can’t believe I’m uttering…or writing!,) I’m pretty sure that no one is even going to remember my birthday, even though the west coast ones should have been prepared for my party, that I cancelled just three short days ago.
Boy, am I Debbie Downer today!!! So, I’m very, very sorry for that, and vow to get back to fun columns on Monday, and keep my pain to myself. (If I had had time, or forethought, to already get a 2012 diary, I’m pretty sure I would have just written this whole thing in it, and left the rest of you alone.)
And may I be the first (and hopefully not the last!,) to say…Happy Birthday to me!!!